


Friends With Benefits

by rosalieirenen



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Ten, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Kissing Taboo, Light Angst, M/M, Maybe a Little Graphic, Non-Graphic Smut, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided JohnTen, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Serious Byun Baekhyun, Sexual Content, Top Byun Baekhyun, insecure Ten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:35:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalieirenen/pseuds/rosalieirenen
Summary: Ten stood there, a mug with hot cocoa in both hands, waiting. Under the mistletoe. Donghyuck was supposed to bring Johnny along and then magically disappear, leaving them alone. This plan was absolutely perfect. They both thought it through, analysing any possible options. Any possible options except one."Why standing alone?"--baekhyun ruins an opportunity for confession, turning ten's life upside down.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	Friends With Benefits

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't used english for writing fanfictions for so long i might have got a little rusty. still, i believe it can pass as a nice winter evening's reading so please enjoy this most guilty-pleasure-like pairing in my nine years long kpop career. i'm a hardcore johnten shipper since i got into nct fandom so please be not offended by johnny's reaction, it's purely for the plot.
> 
> supposed-to-be christmas fic i started 24.12. and finished today. ok, let's do this.
> 
> (for polish readers: mam kryzys, afirmacja jest jak roller-coaster, pisze się dopiero piąty rozdział. i'm sorry?)

"Come on, Ten hyung. Wait here."

Donghyuck arranged everything. He threw a party, he invited all SM artists that stayed in Seoul for Christmas and attached the mistletoe to a ceiling. He did all he could and he did it all for Ten.

Ten stood there, a mug with hot cocoa in both hands, waiting. Under the mistletoe. He was so stressed out and so unsure. How should he put it in words? 

_Hey, I know it's a little bit sudden, but I think I'm in love with you. Since rookies_ . It was stupid. _Oh, a mistletoe! Wanna kiss?_ Even more stupid. Everything he planned to say sounded now stupid. The amount of what ifs paralyzed him. Johnny was making him comfortable and relaxed, yes, but he was making him also nervous and hot and on the edge. The problem was, Ten never told him that and he decided to change that small fact today. Hey, it's Christmas time.

He slurped some hot cocoa and put the mug away, on the table, pulling his cellphone out from a pocket instead and scrolling nervously through Instagram, waiting. Once in a while he was looking around, scanning the crowd with anticipation. Donghyuck was supposed to bring Johnny along and then magically disappear, leaving them alone. If one could say 'alone' in the middle of a room full of people. But that was the plan. Ten, despite the image of a confident and straightforward person, was very emotional and easy to hurt. If Johnny was to reject him, Ten wanted to minimise the effect. Hopefully Johnny won't make a scene out of it, Donghyuck, who's going to wait nearby, would stop Johnny in place so Ten'd be able to hide in his room and drown himself in despair. This plan was absolutely perfect. They both thought it through, analysing any possible options. Any possible options except one.

"Why standing alone?"

Ten jumped, rapidly pulled out of his thoughts. "Huh? Um, yeah." He mumbled, rising his eyes to look at the unexpected invader. "Baekhyun hyung. I'm just… I'm looking for an inspiration for a selfie."

Baekhyun took a step closer and looked at the screen. "Oh, this one is nice. Let me do it." He grabbed Ten's phone and turned the camera on. Ten had no choice than to act accordingly, and Baekhyun seemed to have a great time. Eventually, Ten saw Donghyuck and Johnny in the corner of the eye, the first one panicking, seeing that Ten has a company.

Baekhyun took several more pictures of Ten but still was reluctant to give him the phone back. "Tennie~! Let's take one together!"

Ten nodded. He noticed that Baekhyun was already a little drunk and a drunk Baekhyun was a loud and demanding Baekhyun so Ten had no other option than being nice. He wrapped his arm around Ten and they smiled to the camera. Ten put on one of his best practiced smile and paid as little attention to his hyung as possible, hoping he'll somehow get the hint and leave. Baekhyun lowered his hand, catching their faces in the frame for the fourth time.

"Oh my god, is it!?" He planted a quick kiss on his cheek so suddenly, that Ten had no chance of reacting in time. "A mistletoe!"

Ten startled. "What? Hyung!"

"Send me the picture." Baekhyun said, looking very happily and walked away, calling Sehun to come to him immediately.

"Eeek! Grooooosss!" Ten turned around at the sound. "So gay!"

Johnny was standing behind him, laughing and shaking his head in disbelief. In his eyes Ten saw something he didn't like at all and his world was about to collapse in this very second. Did Johnny just declare? A chill went down Ten's spine. "Hahaha, yeah. Crazy." He mumbled.

"Right? No cameras here. Weirdo."

Johnny wasn't joking, Ten didn't know why but he was sure about it. Johnny was serious, despite the way he said it. Ten's knees gave up for a second and he had to lean on a nearby table. He chuckled with Johnny, he was pretending to laugh it off, but his mind was already overreacting, train of thoughts clouding his mind. He was supposed to confess to him today. He was supposed to say he's gay and that he liked Johnny as more than just friend. He prepared the whole speech. He had a crush on Johnny since almost the beginning.

The way Johnny reacted was something Ten should have expected. Something he should have prepared for, emotionally. His stomach squeezed and he felt like vomiting.

"Everything alright? Ten?" Johnny's hands embraced him and Ten instinctively leaned on him, looking for support.

"I think I ate something before. I was in pain for a while" he lied.

It was an easy lie. One of many lies he had to tell him throughout the years. And Johnny, being an amazing but a little blind friend, suspecting nothing, helped Ten to get to the bed and brought him a bottle of water. While leaving the party Ten saw Donghyuck's worried face. He had to tell him everything later on. But for now the ambitious plan of him telling Johnny how he's in love with him changed into one of letting Johnny to take care of him for this last time. So, so much easier to execute than the one he initially had.

_~ 1 year later ~_

It's been a weird year, Ten noticed, watching his Spotify summary. He was at his parents house in Bangkok, trying to sleep but reluctant to put the phone away.

Another notification showed up and he clicked automatically, not reading it. It was a 'rediscover this day', bringing back pictures from one year ago. He furrowed his brows looking at the screen. It was a Christmas Party Donghyuck prepared for them. For him. A party that ended rather rapidly and with him being sick from a rejection without even confessing.

He remembered it vividly. In the end he was so grateful to Baekhyun hyung for stepping in. Without him Ten could lose one of the most important people in his life, a best friend. He asked Johnny later, what he thinks about gay people. Johnny told him he didn't mind them as long as he doesn't have to see them kissing ( _or worse, ugh, gross_!). Ten needed weeks to eventually stop quietly crying to the pillow every night.

The pictures Baekhyun took. Somehow he's never seen them, afraid of getting too emotional again. He looked quite decent, but with a fake smile and slightly unfocused, not knowing yet, he had just a few more seconds of living in bliss and hope. And there were selfies. He forgot about it completely.

Selfies with Baekhyun were... unbalanced. Ten, still evidently not there, and Baekhyun, eyes shining with happiness and mischief. He looked extraordinarily beautiful, Ten had to admit it. And considering him being drunk that was quite an achievement in his case. Last picture, the one that caused, like, everything that happened after and that determined the whole year for Ten, was of him being surprised when his hyung was planting a kiss on his cheek. He really had no idea Baekhyun took a picture of it.

Baekhyun hyung. They became quite close throughout last year, with another SuperM's EP and then promotions and a tour. They shared rooms in America and while Ten was so far away from his best friends, Johnny and Jaehyun and Donghyuck, with Mark and Taeyong only (he did not count Xuxi, Xuxi was mentally a twelve years old), the easygoing, funny and without boundaries Baekhyun naturally became his close friend.

Ten closed his eyes, making himself comfortable on his bed, and trying to wrap up the events of the last months that involved Baekhyun. He was always at his side, always so conscious of Ten's mood. Ten thought he was just a great leader but…

He looked at the picture again. Could it be...?

No. It was a hell of a wishful thinking, and a stupid one. He was far away, at home, feeling lonely. Plus, since last Christmas, trying to get over the one and only crush he ever had, his weak brain tried to find comfort in random thoughts. Baekhyun hyung was hot, yes, undeniably, but he was out of Ten's league anyway. He couldn't let himself go this route or he'll end up with a broken heart again. And he decided he had enough of one-sided crushes, thank you very much. He'd rather focus on things he did best. Dancing, singing and learning that stupid Japanese language which was mixing and melting with Chinese in his brain, giving him a headache every now and then.

So he talked himself out of this ridiculous thought, or he did only until he was back in Seoul and in the same room with EXO's Byun Baekhyun.

"Tennie~!" He was sandwiched between his mother, who decided to visit South Korea for a few days and now walked him to his dorms, and his bandmate and hyung, Baekhyun. He had to try really hard to not think of how close Baekhyun was right now. "Mark said that you're coming today. Good morning, Mrs… Eee, Mrs Ten's Mother."

Ten laughed at his consternation. _Mrs Leechaiyapornkul, try and say that!_ And his mom, knowing at least this much in Korean, laughed too, a genuine laugh.

"Good morning, dear." Ten translated the last word. "Nice to meet Ten's friends, finally."

Ten was grateful for being the buffer between them but somehow Baekhyun didn't say or do anything weird and out of the blue and soon he introduced his mother to the rest of current SM residents. Apparently, since he was the last one to go back, they threw a small party so his mother left him, saying that she's tired anyway and would sleep early. Baekhyun and Taeyong insisted on driving her to the hotel by Baekhyun's car and forced Ten to stay and enjoy the food they ordered.

Ten, still overwhelmed a little, just let them do that, lost between all the hugs and ' _miss you'_ s. They had too many band members already, to embrace it anyhow.

Baekhyun and Taeyong were back soon, bringing some alcohol with them. Well, Baekhyun, bringing the alcohol and Taeyong, expressing distaste with not only his face but the whole body.

"Relax, Taeyongie. It's not much."

Ten realized he was happy. He was surrounded by his friends and that chaotic mess they were was what he loved the most about them. It was loud and overwhelming and he was drowning in the sudden burst of emotions even without the alcohol, but that was fixed fast with the cup shoved into his hand and an encouraging smile plastered to Donghyuck's face.

"Bottoms up, hyung."

Ten complied. And again and then again. Did someone want to get him drunk? If yes, they succeeded. He needed a saviour and soon. 

Johnny was looking for him, another pair of cups in his hands. That man was invincible in terms of absorbing alcohol. And Ten, mostly over his one-sided love, but not entirely, was afraid of spilling out something he would regret the moment after. He needed to escape.

"Seems like you've had enough, Huh?"

He turned around, eager to know who was supposed to be his knight in shining armour. The flashes of last year's party were back in his clouded brain.

"Baekhyun hyung" he managed to say. "Yes, of course it's you." He pointed out his finger at him, smashing it into Baekhyun's chest. He giggled, hopefully internally and tripped while not even moving, but the world was spinning and he had to hold Baekhyun's arm for support.

"Yeah, definitely enough. I'll take you to your room."

Even if he wanted to oppose, he had no strength left in his limbs, and Baekhyun was warm and soft and smelled so good.

"Soft" he said, as alcohol suppressed the filters in his brain. He squeezed Baekhyun's bicep in a confirmation of his words. "Good."

Baekhyun laughed. He put him to bed.

"Don't. Laugh. I like soft." Baekhyun shushed him before he said too much and left him with a ' _sleep well'_ and a smile. A beautiful, warm smile. Ten's world was still spinning and the only steady thing, when he was falling asleep, was Baekhyun's smile.

*

"Hyung" he paused, not sure if he should ask it. "What do you think of gay people?"

This time he did not wait ages for the opportunity to bring the topic on. They were alone, laying on a sofa in Baekhyun's apartment, watching some Netflix series. They were spending the off days like that since several weeks now, whenever their schedules allowed. He didn't know when Baekhyun became such a close friend but it happened eventually and Ten was gladly accepting the opportunity to escape the chaos of NCT's dorm once in a while, whether it was for a quiet movie watching or long conversations with green tea or hot cocoa, or even playing games, which he still did not believe that happened, but yes, Baekhyun forced him.

"What should I think of gays? Normal people. Why?"

Ten glanced at him for a split second, eyes back to the screen soon after. "I was just wondering…"

"Wanna say something?" Baekhyun did not pause the movie, leaving it as a helpful distraction, but one hundred percent focused on Ten.

Was it because of Baekhyun's answer or because _it was Baekhyun_ , and no one else, but he felt calm.

"I don't have anyone to talk about it."

It was half true. Donghyuck knew about Ten's feelings for Johnny but however supportive, he was never the best listener and Ten did not bring this topic with him ever again.

"You think you're gay?"

Ten considered the choice of words for a while. A serious Baekhyun was unexpectedly sexy, as he discovered some time ago and Ten refused to look at him. He nodded. "I don't think. I know."

Reasons he decided to tell Baekhyun were actually two things. One, he really wanted someone to talk about it, someone who would know him well and who will be conscious in weird situations, to help him eventually. Baekhyun, with his chaotic, daring and unstoppable nature was a perfect option, though he wasn't NCT's member therefore would not be around the whole time. The other reason was much more hopeful than realistic one.

Ten really, _really_ liked Baekhyun. Being as honest with him as he could he decided to ask _the_ question, testing him out.

"It's not easy in our Industry" Baekhyun admitted quietly, finally turning to the screen. Only then Ten had the courage to look at him. Baekhyun was restraining himself from saying something, lips forming a thin line. Ten had to mentally slap himself for his gaze to linger too long. He _really liked Baekhyun_.

"I know that I should keep it to myself. But it's hard."

Baekhyun sighed.

"You really don't mind? I mean…" Ten's initial calmness was evaporating rapidly. "You'll probably start treating me differently."

"Okay, now stop!" Baekhyun's fierce voice made him jump in his seat. 

He pulled Ten into a hug. His fingers started gently caressing his scalp and Ten let out breath he wasn't aware of holding in. His tensed muscles relaxed slowly. "Don't ever go that path. Don't ever let others treat you differently only because they found out you're unlike them. You're you, Ten. The same man, whether they know things or not." Baekhyun took a deep breath. "You're an amazing person. Amazing."

That was unexpected. Ten was speechless. He lacked air in his lungs and tears started to gather in corners of his eyes. He curled up into a ball in Baekhyun's arms, filled with emotions that built up for almost a decade.

He started crying. Baekhyun didn't shush him. He let him cry, just holding him tightly and kissing the top of his head, which made him cry even more. He wrapped his own hands around Baekhyun's waist and buried his face in his shirt. He could only think of how grateful he was for this friendship; how grateful he was for Baekhyun being there for him.

He calmed down eventually. Baekhyun kept stroking his back in a steady rhythm. Ten didn't want to move. It was comfortable and he felt safe, his insecurities gone for the first time in years. He felt fully accepted for who he was for the first time in his life.

*

Nothing changed since that evening. Baekhyun was apparently a man of his word and changed nothing in his behaviour. He still was walking through the room naked, kept coming into the bathroom while Ten was taking a shower and the skinship was still there, at the same, enormously high level. He did not care if Ten was affected by his bluntness. Somehow it caused the opposite effect. Ten became even more comfortable in his presence.

In the company of other boys Baekhyun was the same silly man who was making them laugh all the time but Ten started to see his calm and serious side more often. Him being dorky wasn't entirely an act, he figured it out soon enough, it was a part of who Baekhyun was, but not the only part and not many people knew about it. Most of them saw him as a handsome and talented but stupid man. He was honoured to be so private to him to be able to see the full spectrum of Baekhyun.

Actually, with Ten being more comfortable around Baekhyun, they became quite inseparable whenever they were in the same room. They had inside jokes no one understood, they touched more than before and were aware of each other all the time.

Ten sometimes felt overwhelmed. He sometimes had a constant hard-on and sometimes he had to control himself not to say or do something really, really stupid. But Baekhyun was his bandmate for a few fully-packed-schedule months a year and he managed, he did his best to not let anyone see more than what he allowed to and he somehow managed.

Most of the time he was still excited yet comfortable and very content. Unless Baekhyun completely unconsciously did something that put him on fire.

Promotions of another SuperM's song just started and they came to the hotel after midnight but Baekhyun still wanted to watch some movie. Taemin refused politely, Xuxi was yawning even before his offer, Mark hid behind Jongin and Jongin himself turned him down mercilessly, even if using a polite speech. Baekhyun was so shocked he gave up asking Taeyong and just dragged Ten to their room, promising revenge to the rest of their bandmates. Mark wished Ten good luck and sweet dreams, before disappearing behind the door.

Ten actually didn't mind watching TV as long as he was in his own bed and could drift off at any moment, not worrying about anything. It was a decent idea, but Baekhyun had a better one. He wanted to cuddle and when Baekhyun wanted something, he was getting it, or started to whine and annoy people and be generally loud. And Ten, being in love with that childishly stubborn hyung of his, let him do whatever he liked.

Baekhyun seated himself behind Ten and pulled him closer, so Ten was lying on his chest, Baekhyun's arms wrapped around his waist. It was nothing new. What made it new was Baekhyun's hand accidentally brushing his half-hard penis and noticing it.

"Uh-huh." Being a dorky man, he covered his groin with a palm of his hand, causing a gasp escaping Ten's lips. "I thought you were tense." He whispered coyly. "Need a hand? I can help you with that little problem of yours…"

Ten moaned, mostly because while saying it, Baekhyun massaged him, but also, because it was Baekhyun and he was whispering and because Ten was literally in his arms, on their bed, his brain exploding from implications.

"Don't answer, dear. I'll take care of you."

Baekhyun was half joking, Ten knew this tone of voice too well, but his hand was slipping into Ten's boxers and grasping his manhood, delivering him feelings he never experienced before.

Ten's brain shut down. It stopped receiving any commands. He wanted to say something, to do something, anything, to stop him, to tell him to go faster, to say how good it feels. All that was leaving his mouth was gasps and moans and mixed languages curses because he never, ever in his life had a hand job. He obviously didn't last long, living through his best orgasm ever.

Few deep breaths later he finally managed to form a proper sentence. Or tried to.

"H-hyung?" His voice was still shaky. He didn't feel brave enough to turn around and look at Baekhyun but he forced himself. "Why, I thought you, um, what the hell happened?!" He demanded.

"Now you sound more like you." Baekhyun laughed. "Consider it being a favor." He shrugged it off, trying to get up.

Ten didn't let him. "Hyung, you…"

"Nevermind."

"I do mind. Let me. Unless you don't want me to touch you…" His instant eagerness decreased with the thought of Baekhyun finding his touch disgusting.

"You don't have to, really." Baekhyun sent him a shy smile.

It was enough for a permission for Ten. He pulled his pajamas and boxers down, releasing him. Ten felt his whole body trembling from anticipation. He raised his head with a question written in his face. Baekhyun nodded, all dorkiness away.

Ten lowered his head, sure his breath was teasing at this point. He licked a tip, just to try. Baekhyun let out a sigh only to suck air in when Ten's tongue stroked the whole length. He took him into the mouth, as much as he could, acting purely on instincts.

"I don't have experience…" He said after a while.

"No, you're good, don't stop, oh my gosh, you're so good…" Baekhyun kept assuring him how good he was and Ten had no reason to not believe him, because his words were losing any resemblance of sense, becoming a series of moans.

Ten wanted to do it. He wanted to take as much of it as he could but Baekhyun did not let him. He stopped Ten at the last moment, but still he shot in his face. Ten felt dirty, but a sexy way of dirty. He dared to look at Baekhyun.

"Oh, god. Ten." Was all he was able to say. Ten smiled and Baekhyun avoided looking him in the eyes. "We need a shower." He said only.

Despite tension still floating in the air, they just washed themselves and went to sleep.

*

"You two, you are pure chaos." Ten laughed at a horrified expression on Mark's face. "Who let you befriend each other?"

Ten sent him his devilish grin and Mark let out another scream.

"Focus on practice, Ten." A reprimand from Jongin would hurt him deeply in any other situation, but Baekhyun was dancing silly-sexy moves in front of him and he was seconds from breaking Jongin's facade entirely.

Ten made a one more swing of his hips, too gay for his own good, but got back to his position and blamed Baekhyun for all wrongs. "He has a bad influence on me." He said, while winking to his partner in crime.

They indeed became a sort of a source of chaos within the group. Taeyong once told him he was glad he's not the leader here because he'd already have grey hair, dealing with them two. Ten was just smiling knowingly at such comments, leaving it without reply.

They shared bedrooms in every hotel now, as no one wanted to deal with any of them one-on-one and, which the band members did not know, they kept the practice of getting themselves off at night.

It was always the same as the first time, the only difference in Ten going first. It was their routine. Every now and then Ten was giving his best in sucking him off, almost coming from that only, and then Baekhyun was finishing him off with his hand. Then they showered.

"Huyng, fuck me" he said once, looking up at Baekhyun. He grabbed his hand and put it on his head. Baekhyun swallowed nervously.

"I'm not sure. Your voice…" His palm clenched on its own, pulling some strands of Ten's hair.

"That's why I'm doing it, not you. Do it, hyung. Fuck me."

"Um."

He started gently. Slow but firm rhythm let Ten adapt and with every next thrust he knew he loved it. When Baekhyun sped up, Ten started to gauge and it was so wrong, disgusting and humiliating and yet the blissful expression on Baekhyun's face, combined with moans and the sound of him choking; it was turning him on the way he would never admit in the daylight.

"What does it make us then?" Baekhyun asked afterwards.

"I don't know, friends with benefits?" Ten yawned, making himself comfortable on Baekhyun's chest.

Baekhyun hummed something in return and fell asleep immediately. Ten was awake for several more minutes, wondering where this was even going, but not really worried because he had Baekhyun's friendship and he had Baekhyun's dick all for himself right now so how could he complain.

*

It was the last stop on his tour before going back to Seoul. They were in Tokyo, making a huge mess on the scene. Japanese audience was used to more fanservice than any other and it was here when the company expected them to act accordingly, providing it. Ten never had any problems with that particular duty. He did his best to treat each of the members equally but with Baekhyun it came too naturally. They were gravitating towards each other. They pranked other members, especially Mark, whose reactions were always so much fun. Ten noticed that concerts gave him some kind of permission to touch Baekhyun more and in places that would normally be awkward, without being suspicious.

He used it to look him in the eye and touch his chin. He used it to temptate Baekhyun with some sexy hip dance, he kept sending him kisses from the other side of the stage.

Baekhyun did the same. He once even sang a song for him, as a joke, obviously, but the words "I will always love you" kept ringing in his mind for a few more days.

This was their last night. Tomorrow morning they were supposed to get on the airplane to Seoul, to their homes. Baekhyun seemed unmoved but Ten was on the edge for the whole day. He didn't know why, but a feeling that everything would end that day was haunting him. Like the experiences they shared were a result of the magic of the tour and once they'd be back home, Baekhyun would wake up and cut it off entirely. The fear of it to end untimely paralyzed him.

"What's going on?" Taeyong scolded him between performances. "You seem off." 

What he didn't say was that he made a very visible mistake in their last choreography. Ten felt ashamed even without pointing it out. "Sorry, Taeyongie." He said, apologetic. "It won't happen again."

Taemin had to notice something as well, because he came to him and started to massage his shoulders and the base of his neck. "Don't worry, everyone has a bad day sometimes. We're just people."

Hearing it from your Idol, a walking perfection, was odd enough for him to finally snap out of the worries. He thanked his hyung and they came out on the stage for the last song. 

Ten danced perfectly. He hit all the notes. He felt bad for his fans, he owed them a perfect performance from the very beginning and nothing should be an excuse enough to justify his behaviour.

They came together in one line to bow down. Baekhyun, who happened to be right beside him, grabbed his ass and squeezed it. Ten reluctantly pushed his hand away, forcing a shy smile. But Baekhyun had one last surprise for their fans.

While they were coming from the stage he grabbed his neck, to make sure he won't escape and kissed him. It was supposed to be a kiss on a cheek but Ten turned around a little and Baekhyun's lips landed in the corner of his own. They jumped away from themselves, equally startled. The crowd went crazy with screams of their names.

Ten's heart was rummaging in his chest. He was exhausted from the dancing and singing and a constant teasing.

That night they were slow. They did not talk about it, they actually never did, but an unspoken agreement on relishing the moment, making it last as long as it was possible raised the tension in room.

It was Ten who again wanted more. He was always happy and thankful for what he had but always pushing Baekhyun's boundaries, wondering when he's gonna say no.

"Hey, hyung." He raised himself so their faces were on the same level. Ten bit his lips, trying hard not to lean in and kiss him. It was something they never did. "You want, umm, maybe…"

"Spit it, Ten."

"Fuck me? Like, literally. If not that's okay, though." He backed off, biting his lips again.

"You want me to fuck you?" Baekhyun's blank expression startled him. What the hell was happening inside Byun Baekhyun's head was a mystery to him. Was he so grossed out or so excited that his brain refused sending signals to face muscles?

"I prepared myself." Ten whispered..

"Got a lube?" Was the only response he got and Baekhyun was already standing, steering him so Ten was on all his four, ass exposed. It was even more humiliating than sucking him off or maybe he got used to the latter.

Ten handed him a bottle he hid in the drawer. He indeed was prepared, something Baekhyun dared not to comment on. But it was probably his last chance and he wanted to do it with Baekhyun and Baekhyun only. Ten wanted to have his all firsts with him. He wanted this odd thing between them to last forever.

He wanted to kiss him badly, but he never took a risk to ask for it. Or do it himself. Everything they did so far, as well as what they were about to do, Ten could always say it was for pure physical pleasure. No feelings attached, a friendly help. Friends with benefits. It was harmless. It was risk-free. But kissing… Kissing was reserved for lovers, for boyfriends. Kissing meant feelings. Kissing was dangerous. Kissing revealed emotions. And having too much emotions scared people. Ten would do anything not to scare Baekhyun. He would do anything not to let him leave.

He didn't know where and when Baekhyun learned it but his fingers did wonders. Ten was stimulated from both sides, stretched and stroked and moaning into the pillow because he was loud and hotel walls were thin and this _had_ to be a secret between the two of them.

Baekhyun talked. He kept talking, things that made Ten feel dirty and beautiful and sexy and humiliated at once. He was gentle at first, and firm and rough when Ten begged for it. He was perfect.

Ten was so close to losing all control, which he couldn't. He was a mess but still, somewhere in the back of his head he knew he cannot let some things slip.

Baekhyun's hands were digging into his hips, he was thrusting in him harshly, mixed pain and pleasure frying his brain. It was beyond his imagination, feeling so good.

_I love you, I love you, hyung, I so love you_. He was biting the pillow, fighting the urge to say it aloud.

"Hyung!" Was the only thing he was saying. "Yes, oh god, Baekhyun hyung, please."

After each _'please'_ Baekhyun was even faster and brute and dirty talking.

They came one after another, lips clenched, suppressing screams and declarations of love, on Ten's part.

He was blissful, he was wasted, he was panting like after the most exhausting practice, not able to move a finger; he collapsed on the mattress with a soft whine.

"What does it make us now?" Baekhyun asked after a while, that same question again.

"I don't know, friends with even more benefits?" Ten joked. He was sore and tired and so sleepy he drifted away the next second, the way he was lying, covered in his own and Baekhyun's come, not able to stand up and take a shower.

*

All they did for the past weeks never affected their daily lives and interactions between them and other members. Baekhyun's easygoing nature and bright and loud behaviour made it smooth to slip back to being comfortable around him again after each new field they explored. But this time was different.

Ten stood up earlier, as always. He made a mental note to always, absolutely always take a shower after. It was gross. Bathroom was the first stop then. Finally clean and full of energy he packed himself. He always woke Baekhyun up at the last possible moment, saving those few minutes for himself.

He sat on the edge of the bed and smiled softly. Only a few pink strands of hair was visible from under the sheets. He imagined a perfect world in which he could lean on and kiss him. Baekhyun could mumble his standard ' _five more minutes, please'_ s and Ten would let him, watching him slowly waking up.

He didn't live in a perfect world and kisses were kind of taboo between them so he poked him again.

"Hyung, you have ten minutes until breakfast." It was another routine they gained during the tour. He woke Baekhyun up as late as it was acceptable by the management. Baekhyun went to the shower and Ten downstairs to eat quickly and bring breakfast to him.

Baekhyun finally opened eyes and raised himself, rubbing them. He was cute.

He looked at him, but it was a weird, distanced look, which Ten did not understand at first. He tensed. Ten felt disoriented and unnerved. What was happening?

Did they… go too far yesterday?

Ten took two steps back, stuttering. "I… go take a shower. I'll, I'll take you something to eat."

He practically run out of the room. The way to the hotel's restaurant was a blur in his memory. He snapped out only after Xuxi poked him.

Ten didn't know what answers he was giving them, vaguely remembering mentioning something about lack of sleep. He just ate the first thing in his reach and took a plate of random items with him.

"He'll never learn if you'll spoil him like that!"

"I don't mind, hyung." He answered to Jongin and went back to their room. He had to imagine things, surely. Baekhyun will go out and, once refreshed and fully awake, he'll make a joke or two and everything will be as it was. Right?

He closed the door behind him the moment Baekhyun came out of the bathroom. He stilled, seeing Ten and something in Ten broke because he knew already. This thing between them, it was over. He did something terrible, he overstepped, demanded too much, was too greedy and too selfish.

"I-I will go downstairs. Wait wi-with the others."

He stuttered again. He never stuttered. Yet he was now. Because it was Baekhyun, a man he fell for long ago, a man he got attached to, a man he hoped to eventually be with. Maybe, someday. It was Baekhyun, a man who genuinely cared for him, who understood him and supported him. Man whom he trusted mostly, he just realized.

Something in Ten broke and it was not only his heart but his soul too.

"I'm going." He whispered. He took the luggage bag and, making a huge noise, he went to the elevator. He waited outside for the van and came in as the first one. His mind was analysing the night, thing after thing, but the only reason for Baekhyun's actions could be that he thought Ten forced him to do things he didn't want. Giving a hand job or receiving a dick sucking was one thing but having an actual sex was a whole other level.

He messed up so much. And he had no idea how to fix it. They had only a short fly from Tokyo to Seoul ahead and won't see each other anytime soon. Ten had to blink the tears away, because his bandmates were coming.

They sent him a few odd looks but then Baekhyun showed up and Ten's mood was not the only weird thing around. Next to Baekhyun he looked even cheerful, trying to keep up an act. Baekhyun did not try at all. He still sat in his seat next to Ten but put headphones on and Ten was left plastered to the window. He pretended to sleep the whole way to the airport.

On the plane it was Taeyong who sat next to him, causing Baekhyun to hesitate for a second and then choosing the last free seat.

"Will you tell me what happened? Did you guys fight?"

Ten shook his head.

"Then?"

"Sorry, Taeyong. I'll keep it for myself, at least for now." He wasn't prepared for telling him the truth. Yes, Taeyong was a great listener and an amazing leader, who honestly cared for them but Ten would be selfish, dropping such a bomb on him knowing he won't be able to do anything about it.

They were coming home after such a long time, gods knew what awaited Taeyong there. With those kids? Probably another chaos.

*

They announced to him that there are plans for another NCT U's comeback he was to participate in and the schedule will start in a week.

He'll be busy, good. If he'll be lucky, he'll be over it soon.

But deep in his heart Ten knew he won't be. The abrupt separation left a big hole in his heart and life. Ten felt empty. And had too much free time to think.

He spent hours at the practice room, dancing. He forgot to eat, he slept for two or three hours per day and almost never talked. For the first three days, he gave himself the time to mourn.

But knowing it would lead him nowhere, on his fourth day he joined his bandmates at breakfast and asked what they planned for the day.

"Welcome back among the living, bro." 

*

"Hey, hyung. I know that you two had a fight lately but could you tell your precious friend to not send me such perverted messages?" Mark's angry expression made him smile a bit.

"Perverted? My friend?" Ten tried to look offended but his mood still was killing all the effort.

"Yes. Baekhyun hyung keeps nagging me. He's asking if me and Jongin hyung are a thing. Cuz we are cute together. Imagine?" He was fuming, his mouth never closing. "Oh, another one. He sends them all day. Oh, that explains it. He claims being bored, all alone in his house. Seriously, could you-" Mark looked up to see that Ten was already on the other side of the room, leaving.

He put on shoes and grabbed someone's jacket not bothered by anything else. Baekhyun's apartment was close and Ten couldn't count how many times he was there before but today he felt like an intruder.

Security man recognised him and in a few seconds he was in front of his door. He leaned on the side. Only now he was wondering what he was going to say. But it was his chance. EXO were supposed to work on a full album this time and after his NCT U song he's probably gonna be busy with something else. He knocked.

Some ruffling on the other side meant he was coming.

"Who's there?"

"It's Ten." He said, not bothering to show up in front of the camera. The door opened and Ten saw him, awkwardness still in the air. "Can we at least talk?" He asked quietly.

Baekhyun let him in. "I'll make you tea."

"I don't want tea." Ten said, rather dryly. When Baekhyun continued going to the kitchen, Ten shouted. "I said I don't want tea!"

Baekhyun turned around, shocked. "Then? What do you want?"

Ten was silent, considering what words would be the right ones. "You. Back as it was." He added, realising it sounded too much like a confession. "I miss it. I miss my best friend."

"Or you miss your fuck buddy."

Ten was baffled with those words. Was that the problem? 

"I miss that too, yes." He no longer had any control over what he was saying. "But if that's not what you want, then I'm okay with just being friends. I… I don't wanna lose you."

"You have no idea what you want."

"Oh, I do. Believe me, I do know, clearly."

"Then say it."

Ten hesitated.

"Right now? I want you to kiss me."

Baekhyun was confused for only a moment. In three large steps he was in front of Ten, kissing him. And Ten's knees almost gave up. Fortunately, Baekhyun wrapped his arms around his waist, supporting him. Ten melted to the kiss, his brain refusing to work. Baekhyun was kissing him. Their taboo.

It was much more intimate than even the sex. It felt like his soul started singing, his heart wanted to flee out of his chest and join Baekhyun's, like he was giving his whole being to Baekhyun and receiving his whole existence in return. It was like they finally became one.

Baekhyun pulled away after a few seconds. "You got the kiss. You're saying that's what you really wanted?"

He kept crushing and putting together his world and Ten tried to keep up with his tempo. But he couldn't. He was drowning in his own feelings.

"I.. I did. Among other things." He felt like being drunk. The kiss…

Ten would never believe that it was just a kiss for Baekhyun. It couldn't be. If it was, then Ten was damned. Done. Destroyed. Because for Ten this kiss was _everything_.

"I wanted you to have all my firsts, hyung." He whispered, eyes everywhere but on him. "I. Love you. For a long time."

Baekhyun's blank face terrified him but he did it. He told him. It won't be worse than that, right?

Baekhyun shifted. Blinked. Then coughed.

"Love?" He asked, voice raised a little too high.

Ten nodded. With a regained strength he looked Baekhyun in the eye. He had nothing to lose now. "Yes, love. I've had enough time to make sure."

_I want to be with you_ , he wanted to add but Baekhyun opened mouth to say something.

"Good."

Ten thought he misheard. "Good?"

"Yeah. Good. You know why?" He came closer. Ten was expecting the worst joke of his life but Baekhyun just placed a peck on his cheek. "Do you remember the little photo session under the mistletoe?" 

Ten nodded. He remembered. "It changed too much in my life for me to forget." He murmured.

"I figured it out you were waiting for someone. Purposefully interrupted meeting with your crush. Stole the first kiss under the mistletoe." Ten gazed at him like he grew a second pair of arms or a nice set of antlers."

He stood there like a statue, unable to move. "You… saved my friendship with Johnny, probably."

"So it was Johnny."

Ten averted his gaze, suddenly unsettled. He didn't want to talk about it.

"I maybe did not love you then, yet, but definitely do now." He added. "Even if not a first friend or a first crush, obviously, I still can have a lot of your other firsts." He said, placing hands on his cheeks. "I love you, thickhead."

And he kissed Ten for the second time, unlocking something in him. He embraced Baekhyun, weaved his fingers into pink strands, pulling him closer, _closer_.

This time, when Ten was riding him, they kissed. Ten was moaning into Baekhyun's lips, saying his name, focused on receiving. He switched the thinking of. He was just feeling. Feeling Baekhyun's hot skin, feeling the wet tongues entangled in a lazy dance, every touch of Baekhyun's fingers, each crescent moon after nails digging into the skin, the dampness of their hair, the smell of the sweat, the sound of their bodies bumping into each other.

*

"Stay for the night." Baekhyun whispered, kissing the top of his head, his hands wandering lazily over his body. Ten sighed.

"I have a schedule early in the morning."

"I'll drive you."

"Showing up in the same clothes, wouldn't it be too obvious?"

"I'll give you mine."

"Even more obvious." Ten smacked his shoulder.

"Don't worry. We're friends. Who would suspect anything?" They laughed.

"I love you, Byun Baekhyun."

"Yeah, I know. One day you'll regret it."

"I already am. Set the alarm for 5am. And please, don't call me evil. You're the one who wanted me to stay."

**Author's Note:**

> i know it's not the best thing on earth so please be nice if you decide to comment. i'd love to read what you think of it, for the motivation (i'm not writing another baekten, of course not...)


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